My Love For You

 Most painful thing in life is to see someone you love die, even worse if you save them and you can’t be with them. This is my story how I saved love of my life to be with someone else. It all started when I began college and met this amazing girl, she was perfect in every possible way. It was love at first sight for me, not only me half of the boys were crazy for her.

 

I knew I had to approach her if I wanted to be close to her as there were many on line. Luckily, she was in my class which made things easier for me. When I first talked with her we hit it off really well, we had a lot in common. Soon we became best friends, we started spending a lot of time together. However, I never told her how I felt as I didn’t wanted to lose what we had now.

 

Every now and then guys would propose her, but she always refused them, which made me feel that she also had some feeling for me. I was not full of myself, there were signs like she would share everything with me, and we were spending awfully more time together for friends. Seeing us that close rumors spared that we were couple, I was fine with that but she didn’t like that at all, that was my first hint.

 

Even after two years I was not able to share how I felt about her but we were still ‘best friends’. Now that word best friends was starting to hurt as I knew we could never be anything more than that. Everyone arounds us knew how I felt for her, our friends even her sister knew how I felt for her but I forbid them to tell her as I wanted to be the one who tells her that, not others.

 

One day, late night I got a phone call from her, she sounded really excited and she said she wanted to tell me something very important. I asked her to tell it over phone but she said it’s not something we could talk over in phone and asked me to meet her first thing in the morning. After she cut the call I was curious what she was talking, I knew she was going to some friend’s party, but what she was talking was unclear for me.

 

That night I couldn’t sleep at all, I kept thinking what could make her so excited. As soon as morning sun hit me I got up and get ready, every day we would meet at 8 to go to college but I couldn’t wait that morning. I got to her house in 6:30, I still didn’t know what to expect. She came down at 8 with the big smile in her face, as soon as she saw me, she ran towards me and hugged me.

 

Way she held me that day was different, now I was imagining things like maybe someone at party might have told her how I felt about her and maybe she feels the same. But I got out of my imagination when she said she found a perfect guy that she was looking for and she wanted to tell me first as I was her ‘best friend’. Of course that perfect guy was not me.

 

At first I didn’t knew how to feel about that, she looked at me with her bright eyes, I was feeling like dying. Now I could never tell her how I felt about her. For that moment I put on a show and said that I was happy for her and wished her all the best than I told her that I was not feeling so well, so I couldn’t go college today and rushed back home.

 

One week later, I wanted to be happy for her and I wanted to lose my feeling but it is never easy, is it. I hadn’t seen anyone for a week and my parents were starting to get worried about me. Some of my friends called me every day but I didn’t reply to any of them, but she didn’t called me even once.

 

My exams were coming so I couldn’t avoid college anymore. I went to college, my friends knew what happened to me but my best friends was still clueless. She just asked me if I was feeling better now. My friends tried to cheer me but nothing work, I maintain my distance with my best friend. It was not that hard she was either with her boyfriend or talking about him, it pushed me away quite easily.

 

She had no idea that I was making distance from her, she was just occupied elsewhere. Within months we totally grew apart, and she didn’t even noticed. We would just say hello every now and then like stranger, I wouldn’t believe just because she found her love, she completely forget about her best friend. If not lovers then I still wanted to be her friend but she pushed me away.

 

She was totally changed she didn’t see anything from her boyfriend, she barely talked with anyone else. By the time, our college was over she didn’t have anyone by her side apart from her boyfriend. I had moved on overtime, I still loved her but I was also okay with her being with someone else. We had farewell from college but she didn’t showed up, I wanted to say my final goodbye as I was moving to another country for job.

 

After a year, I was fine, my work was really going well. I missed her sometimes but we were not in touch anymore. One day I got a call from her sister saying that she had an accident and needed a kidney transplant within two day. Her sister even said that she might not make it so if I wanted see her last time.

 

I took very next flight home and directly went to see her, she looked pale, and as soon as I saw her I burst into tears. Her sister saw me and told me to be strong. I couldn’t let her die that’s roamed my head. I went to see the doctor, I asked him what can save her and he said if she gets a kidney she will be saved but finding donor in this short time is hard.

 

I roamed here and there for a while and I had an idea. I went to doctor and asked him what if I gave her one of my kidney, will that save her. Doctor said he has to do some tests and if everything matches then I can do that. We did the test and everything matched, her sister told me I didn’t have to do that. I said her “I have to do it, I love her and want her to live and be happy.”

 

I gave her my kidney to save her, everyone from her side thanked me including her boyfriend. But I had a condition that no one will ever tell her that it was me who gave her kidney, that would only make things hard for me as she would come to thank me and I don’t know if I can stop myself this time. Everyone agreed not to tell her anything. So before she awake up I left forever.

 

After five years, even now I am in touch with her sister who tells me what is going on her life. She got married and have a child now, I am happy. Sometimes it makes me sad that I couldn’t be with her but I am very happy that she is alive and having a great live. Even though she didn’t love me I always loved her and I have nothing to regret in life.

 

THE END

 

P.S

Love is not always getting loved ones, love is something you feel even if person in front of you don’t feel the same about you. Always love without expectation and you will have nothing to regret and that is the pure love.